


Deceptions and Betrayals

by Echodoki



Series: Coffee-fueled plot bunnies [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU since before canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author is taking liberty with potion creation, Author wanted some LVSS angst, Betrayal, But really diverged at 4th year, Cliche, F/M, Fucked Up, Handwaving magic theory, Handwaving potion theory, I don't know what happened to my brain last night, I know everything in this is fucked up, M/M, Mostly self indulgence, Mutually Unrequited, OOC, Please stop reading if any of this triggers you, Rape/Non-con Elements, Severus lies to Voldemort, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Nothing, Torture, Unrequited Love, Voldemort makes bad decisions, and canon, and spell crafting, and unhealthy, but couldn't find any, but hello angst, death aka the revolving door, in order to kill him, instead of studying for final, so author wrote this herself, then in order to save him, this is fucked up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:38:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12770265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echodoki/pseuds/Echodoki
Summary: Forgive me lord, for I have sinned.Severus was willing to do anything to save Lily. Severus was willing to do more to save Voldemort.Voldemort just wished someone had asked his opinion in all this mess.





	Deceptions and Betrayals

**Author's Note:**

> I started on this in my frustration in searching for an angsty LVSS fanfic. Then I realized the criminal shortage of LVSS fanfic in general. I don't understand, I remembered reading many LVSS fic when I was young, they were my OTP even before Harrymort became my new true OTP. So. Here I am, writing this cliched piece of angst.
> 
> I have finished the outline. I estimated 20k but who knows, I'm already over the word limit I set for myself for the first few events.
> 
> Cliche warning. OOC warning. Graphic description of torture warning. Non-con warning. I seek pleasure in making my favourite characters scream and cry.
> 
> The characters and settings are obviously not mine. In fact, if you recognize anything in this, chances are it is not mine. Even the plot bunnies are not mine. Forwarding respect to authors of stories that I very vaguely remembered reading more than 10 years ago but can't recall any concrete plot so I can't cite them here.
> 
> Unbeta-ed. All mistakes are my own.

Severus knelt in front of the skeletal figure in dark robe. The room was dark, cold candle light flickered in the maelstrom of furious magic that saturated the room. For a second, he irrationally thought the time had stopped in fear of his lord’s rage.

 

“Oh, Severus. Did you finally decide that you want to join us?”

 

The Dark Lord whispered softly, through there was no mistaking of the venom in his words. 

 

Severus rested his forehead on his trembling hands. His fate had been decided 14 years ago when he betrayed the Dark Lord, there was no going back now. He had no doubt that he would die a gruesome death for his betrayal - the Dark Lord was neither kind nor forgiving, especially in this situation, especially when his betrayal lead to his arguably temporary death.

 

Severus thought back to the days before his graduation from Hogwarts. Back then, the conflict between the Dark and the Light had been both worse and better. Everyone were anticipating for the inevitable war, even the Ministry had long since given up the peaceful illusion. 

 

It was in his fifth year that he was introduced to the Dark Lord by his sort-of-friend Lucius. Lucius was a few years ahead of him and had been helpful in integrating him into the Slytherin student community. He had been grateful to him for that - the support from a high profile pureblood family heir had made the life significantly easier for a no name halfblood raised up in the muggle world.

 

His first impression of the Dark Lord had been… Nothing actually. He was invited to the Christmas gala at the Malfoy Manor. It had been a ridiculously excessive affair, if you asked him. All the money spent on unnecessary decorations and actual precious gem and real hand picked flowers and what not, he was not actually paying attention when Narcissa went through the plans and preparation for the party.

 

So naturally, since the world was definitely against him, he did not know that the Dark Lord was also invited.

 

He was enjoying the solitude - no, Lucius, he was definitely not brooding alone, thank you very much - when a wizard in dark robe joined him in the corner of the ball room. The robe shimmered subtly at an angle of light, and is that…

 

“Did you actually put notice-me-not runes on your dress robe? You did realize people come here to socialize didn’t you?” He blurted out. He really can’t help himself. It was not the same thing that was taught in class, because it was, he wouldn’t see the wizard even he was standing next to him. Now this was indeed a smart trick. He was surprised he didn’t thought of this before.

 

The wizard raised an eyebrow at him, as if he was surprised by his comment. 

 

“And you are enjoying socializing with everyone greatly I’m sure.”

 

“Well, I had my reasons.”

 

He wasn’t sure why he was talking to this stranger. This wasn’t like him at all. He should just leave and find another quiet corner for himself.

 

“And I had mine too.”

 

Severus couldn’t help the snort bubbled up. 

 

He still couldn’t remember how he started to chat with the stranger about, well, everything. His potions, his little discoveries, the frustration at school for the lack of support for individual student research. The wizard had been surprisingly knowledgeable in everything, to his delightful surprise, he even had a few concepts in the changing physical and magical properties of potion ingredients at fluid state in high magic concentration clarified. Merlin knew the professors at Hogwarts had stopped being helpful in that particular area of study.

 

“Well, it’s been nice talking to you. But I really must be going. Adult things to do and all that.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry for keeping you...” Severus couldn’t help the embarrassed redness that creeped up his neck and ear. Really, what was he expecting? No one was interested in his blabbering.

 

“No, it actually really is a nice conversation, very enlightening indeed. I look forward to reading your research when you finish your work on potion assisted transformation of tissues in magical creatures. Haven’t heard about anything this interesting in years. We’ll talk next time we see each other?”

 

Severus remembered the smile at the corner of his mouth, remembered how the light danced around glistening his impossibly dark hair, remembered his red eyes twinkled with amusement before he walked away. Severus remembered the sudden heat in his face.

 

His first impression of the Dark Lord, without knowing that the wizard that he was conversing with had been the Dark Lord, was that he was surprisingly patient and thoughtful. He wouldn’t use the word kind, considering the few slips of probably absolutely unethical testings of some very illegal spells and potions. But, wise, powerful, knowledgeable, and charming. Definitely charming. 

 

He did not hesitate after realizing just who he was talking to on that Christmas gala when he was asked to join the rank. Surely, surely the Dark Lord is leading a just cause for the future of the wizarding world. Surely, with his wisdom and power, he could make the world a better place. Surely, it would be nice if he could contribute to the betterment of the society, and be appreciated for that.

 

And he was appreciated. He quickly became the most favoured one even in the inner circle. His lord had been very open about his appreciation too. For the first time in his life, he was respected for his knowledge and intelligence, people once spitted on him for his blood now praised him for his creation of potions that people dared not imagine. He actually had the resource for his research. 

 

He had been truly happy.

 

Of course, that was when everything started to fall apart.

 

The Dark Lord became more and more violent and unnecessarily cruel, his patience shorter by the day. When the Dark Lord began punishing the lower rank with the Cruciatus curse, they had been startled. They very quickly found excuses, surely those idiots deserved it. Then the Cruciatus curse became a common thing, but by then everyone had been used to the short temper and open cruelty of the Dark Lord. 

 

No one saw how it came to that. At least Severus didn’t.

 

He had been resentful. For the marriage between Lily and the brat Potter, for the halted discussion between him and the Dark Lord, for the cut down in research budget as the Dark Lord moved his focus on the battlefront, for the world in general. 

 

Then he heard the prophecy. Then he panicked. Then he made the mistake to find Dumbledore in hope that he would save Lily. 

 

Then there were more mistakes.

 

Then his Lord died.

 

It was in the aftermath, that he pondered for the why and how. How did the wise and charming wizard he met at the Christmas gala became the cruel and frightening nightmare figure that threatened the entire wizarding world? 

 

It wasn’t until a few years ago, that he finally found out the truth.

 

And dear Merlin and Morgana and all the Gods above. He still shuddered at the memory of reading those tomes on that vile magic. How did no one realize what was going on? How did no one realize the twisted darkness around his lord was anything but natural? 

 

Severus thought back to the last stretch of the war over a decade ago. The rest of the Death Eaters might have an excuse, but he certainly didn’t. He could still recall the stunned face filled with regret the morning after that particular… unforgettable night, the panic in his eye, the awkward apologies… He should have known. He should have noticed.

 

“Forgive me please, my lord.”

 

“Crucio.”

 

He had been expecting for this since he stepped into the hall, but the sudden pain still surprised him - his body was on fire and on ice at the same time, ice cut into every inch of the skin and fire set them alight, every single nerve ending burning under the terrible spell.

 

Severus tightened his jaw muscle, and stopped himself from screaming. Deep breath. He had been used to this. Just, deep breath.

 

“What a surprise, my love. I truly believed I have seen the last of you. Why, I thought for sure you would be hiding behind your dear  _ Headmaster _ .” The dark lord seethed, “begging him to protect you.”

 

A flick of wand. The pain intensified ten folds. Severus bit down on his lip.

 

“Oh, I have missed you. Darling, imagine the surprise when I came back and you did not respond to my call. Or no, I guess not. Considering it was you who betrayed me in the first place. Didn’t you, Sev dearest?”

 

Another flick of wand. Severus saw white for a few second. A whimper escaped from his bloodied lips.

 

“You did. You betrayed my trust. You deceived me, seduced me, fed me lies and poisons, then push me towards my death. And for what? For nothing! That bloody mudblood witch still died! Aren’t you so very glad now you have betrayed me?”

 

Another flick of wand. Severus thought he screamed, but he wasn’t sure anymore. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Time had since lost all meaning in this world of pain and all he knew was the unbearable pain and a burning desire to just die to escape the pain and…

 

The pain stopped.

 

Severus focused on breathing, letting the oxygen fill his lung, in, out, again. As he slowly regained his consciousness, he realized he wasn’t in the kneeling position any more - instead he was lying in a fetal position in a pool of his own filth, with sweat drenching his hair and shirt.

 

He knew that logically, the victims of Cruciatus Curse would experience loss of control of bodily function under the immense pain, the humiliation only added to the psychological side of this torture. He also knew that the Dark Lord also knew it.

 

“Now, this is much better suited for you, my filthy little traitor.”

 

Severus took a few more breath to calm down the trembling body, wrestled control from all the completely numb muscles and returned back to the kneeling position. Now that the Dark Lord had finished lashing out, maybe he could finally listen to his word.

 

“My lord, thank you for your mercy, although your servant does not deserve it.” Severus chanced a quick glance at the Dark figure. Voldemort’s face was obscured in the darkness. He couldn’t tell how angry he was now, but he couldn’t wait any more. He had to make this known to his lord.

 

“I came back to you, not to beg for your forgiveness. I know that there is no pardon for a traitor like me. I have betrayed you, my lord. I wish I had been stronger and didn’t. But these are of no consequence now. My lord, I came back to you, with a cure for your illness, only to beg you for one more bargain...”

 

“Illness? What are you talking about?”

 

Severus knew he got his lord’s attention. This was it. He had done enough for the Headmaster, done enough for that ungrateful brat, this is the last thing he would do for them. He had long since repaid them. They did not upheld their end of promise in the first place.

 

“My lord, forgive my speculation if I was wrong, and forgive the bluntness with this question. Did you make horcruxes or not?”

 

Severus had barely a second to brace himself for the Crucio that hit him. His body still hadn’t recovered from the last round of torture, the new addition of Crucio to his abused system made his mind went blank for a few seconds.

 

The air thickened with the rage and magic of the Dark Lord, it was becoming increasingly hard to breathe. He couldn’t move a single muscle under this furious power, it was as if a building collapsed on top of him then the whole thing was set on fire.

 

“How. Did. You. Know.”

 

The pressure intensified with each word. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, he felt his lung was giving out. He could taste blood in his mouth.

 

The pressure suddenly went away, and Severus couldn’t hold back the mouthful of blood that flooded out. He took a minute to stabilize his breath. His lord is even stronger than before.

 

“My lord, I had made the discovery on my own, and I had not shared the knowledge with anyone else, although I suspect Dumbledore also held the same suspicion if he had not already known.”

 

Silence filled the room, like cold sea water.

 

“My lord, I knew I have lost this privilege when I betrayed you, but I ask you to trust me this once again. Please, my lord. You have to have realized that you had been behaving oddly, you have to have been aware of the shortening of your temper and patience was not simply a result of frustration. Fracturing souls has serious consequences and you know you are experiencing some of the unpleasant side effect.”

 

“Shut up! You know nothing you ignorant child!”

 

“Perhaps I don’t know everything, but I do know that magic comes from our soul and a balanced and stable soul is the key to magic. It was the basics of Soul Magic, many Old Magic were built on the assumption of a stable structure and balance of the soul and body of the caster, and spells designed to defeat the opponent by disrupting the balance. Are these not enough evidence to not play with your soul?”

 

“I do not  _ play _ with my soul!”

 

“No, you didn’t. You splitted them into small pieces and kept them far out of your reach. You are truly and completely in control of your soul, that’s why when the Avada was rebound and you didn’t die, but you couldn’t find back to your own anchoring points on Earth and had to wait for that idiot Quirrell to sacrifice himself for you to anchor yourself with.”

 

“Watch your words!”

 

“And you need to watch the consequence of your careless experiment! My lord, you have to see how the magic has been affecting you, how your fracturing soul has made you impatient and short tempered in your decisions, you have to see you were not the same you at the end of the war!”

 

“Crucio!”

 

Severus bit down hard. This was too important to stop now.

 

“My lord. I have a solution for that. Please. Allow your servant to serve you. Allow me to heal you. I have been developing this solution in secret since I realized what you were doing to your soul, your secret is safe with me I swear my lord. I beg you, my lord, please give me a chance to show you.”

 

The pain subsided.

 

“Show me.”

 

Severus let out a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding ever since he set foot in this hall. Slowly, he sat up on his knees, and reached into his robe with shaking hands. 

 

A box. A small, plain, dark wood box with no visible lock on it. Severus held it above his head to the Dark Lord.

 

“If you feed magic into it, it will show a circle. Three drops of my blood in the middle of the circle will open the box, my lord.”

 

Severus focused his eye on the patch of dirtied carpet in front of his knees, felt more than heard the Dark Lord smoothly rose from the throne and slithered more than walked towards him. He couldn’t help the wince at the thought of that. His lord had changed, so many of those changes were put aside and disregarded as eccentricity, and the rest as natural cruelty and madness. He couldn’t help question himself again, how had it came to this?

 

He felt a vicious slash at his palm, and didn’t bother to smother the pained moan. He knew his lord enjoyed the power play. This was not the time to displease him.

 

“This is it, Severus?”

 

He heard his lord’s silky voice above him, he also heard the doubt in his voice. He had been expecting this question. Truly, he had been waiting for this question.

 

Severus folded his shaking hands in front of his knees, and leaned forward, resting his forehead on the ground next to the Dark Lord’s shoe again.

 

“This is the potion that I created to temporarily restore balance in the fractured soul. It had effects of a calming draught on a patient in shock, except it was not targeted towards the physical level of shock. Essentially when a soul is fractured, it more often than not is not a clean break, it is more like pulling a limb off than a clean cut. The loose end that wasn’t tended festered and entangled together, messing up the conduit system in the magical core, which result them to be more, in a simple word, inflamed...”

 

“I am not here for your lecture, Severus. You test my patience.”

 

Severus paled. How could he forget himself.

 

“I am sorry my lord. Yes, this is the potion, that would restore balance and therefore stability of your soul.”

 

“And you mentioned, temporarily.”

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

“Are you trying to convince me to spare your life, so you can make this potion for me for the rest of your life? My devious little snake?”

 

Severus swallowed, once, twice. The proximity to the epicenter of the furious storm of magic is making his head unclear. He hoped he could make the right word come out.

 

“No, my lord. I will willingly give you everything I know about this potion. The only thing I ask, is for you to spare one person’s life, and only for five more years.”

 

His back hit the wall before he realized what was going on. He was thrown by the force erupted from his lord in rage across the hall. Before he caught his breath, a force closed around his neck and held him up.

 

“Even now. Even now you still value that mudblood higher than your lord. Is the life of her son more important than your own? My Severus?”

 

The words slipped half into parseltongue in his burning rage, the force around his neck was going tight. His lord was developing a thing for choking, apparently, Severus thought with a flicker of amusement.

 

Darkness closed in around his vision. The pain and lack of oxygen was doing weird things to his brain, but he needed to hold on to the last thread of consciousness. He need to secure this promise from his lord.

 

“Very well. You have it.”

 

Severus was dropped on the ground, or perhaps thrown on the ground. He didn’t care much.

 

A thread of golden magic hit him around the neck.

 

“Now, state your conditions. Think carefully before you speak.”

 

This wasn’t the unbreakable vow. But this was perhaps the best he would ever get.

 

“I, Severus Snape, vows to give anything my lord asks, my undivided loyalty and support in aiding the recovery of Lord Voldemort, in exchange for the cessation of any attempts directly or indirectly by Lord Voldemort, deliberately or by chance or omission, to capture, hurt or kill Harry James Potter in the next five years.”

 

The golden light extended from his neck towards the wrist of the Dark Lord.

 

“I, Lord Voldemort, agree to cease all attempt at capturing, hurting or killing Harry James Potter in the next five years.”

 

The magic thread burned in response to the Dark Lord’s words. There was a sudden blinding light as the magical vow settled.

 

Severus returned back to the kneeling position.

 

“Thank you, my lord.”


End file.
